Saturday, June 10, 2006

Watch your *THOUGHTS* they become words;

Watch your *WORDS* they become actions;

Watch your *ACTIONS* they become habits;

Watch your *HABITS* they become character;

Watch your *CHARACTER* for it becomes your *DESTINY*


Quote from Gwashababy from Comment is Free, which seems to me quite apposite after all the online hullabaloo on the whole "Sexual Assault Poll" affair in Hong Kong media, because the above quote does show the insidious nature of media influence on young minds. Those who try to deny the responsibility of the young radio show presenters concerned are trying to deny the power of the media altogether, by arguing that there is no such thing as an "incitation to sexual violence". Hmmm, maybe there isn't when you are simply asking listeners to talk about their sexual fantasies, but if you were actually asking people to give you names of actresses they most like to sexually assault, then such "incitation" is loud and clear.

It is very worrying this aptly-labelled "反智當潮流" trend (to quote 葉一知). Not having been back to HK for so long, I just wish that it really isn't as bad as the online debates have made the place sound like. (I think I'm beginning to understand how some expat Americans must feel about their Fox News driven homeland now...). Anyway, below are my contributions to the online debates. Other bloggers have argued the case far more eloquently than I did. Hats off to them!

Reply on "Jacky's Blog":

Somebody above said, “非禮是一個禁忌,不能說!只是因為避而不談,自欺欺人,以為不說就不會發生非禮這種事,這只是無知的表現”

I cannot believe there are people who thinks that sexual assault is only a “taboo”!!!! Thank goodness there are people like Mad Dog and Dark Man above who refuted such nonsense even from a male perspective! This is not about so-called “moralists” in Hong Kong being too prudish about sex, this is a popular phone-in radio show actively asking its listeners to nominate female stars they would most like to sexually assualt!! HOW COULD ANYONE DEFEND THIS???? Even liberal opinions in the West (I should say especially true progressive voices like the Guardian) would not condone such flagrant incitation to sexual violence in mainstream media. The fact that this has been voiced by likeable young radio hosts just make the whole story sadder, and the fact that they didn’t even bother apologising properly for their really serious mistake until they have been almost forced to do so by the strength of opposition voices made me worry about the youths of today. I’m surprised to hear that Sammy’s meant to be a university guest lecturer – did he “read shitty diapers”?

I also seriously take issue with the view that we cannot criticise Sammy and Siu Yee’s show because the Next and Apple media are far worse in their disrespectful treatment of women. Hey! Since when are people allowed off the hook just because other people have done far worse things?? If we are to follow this illogic then we can’t reprimand a thief or a cheat or even a rapist, because you know, he’s not even as bad as those who murder people so what right have we to take these people to task for the crimes and mistakes they have committed? In any case I feel that Sammy and Siu Yee, and Commercial Radio Station for that matter, should be chastised precisely because they are meant to represent an alternative to the Next/Apple/East porn-filled media.

I think Sammy and Siu Yee get their just desserts by having their show stopped for a period of time, to send out the clear message that when you made a mistake, no matter how popular you are, there are consequences. An apology is the LEAST that should be expected from them and it should have been sincerely offered without prompting, rather than something reluctantly squeezed from them as if we’re extracting teeth. The fact that this was a thoughtless mistake rather than a deliberate intent on the part of the presenters was a mitigating factor – but precisely because they work in the broadcast media, they should have learnt their lesson about the importance of word choices a long time ago.

Reply on "Another Day is Gone":

I completely agree with Sidekick. There are serious weaknesses behind your very male-centric statement:

"整個事非的背後,其實還隱藏著一個香港密碼,就是大家仍然對性的態度和保守,還停留在逹文西的時代。據醫學的報導,男性在每20分鐘便有性的幻想,對異性的好奇和渴望異性的慰藉甚至親近,事實是男人的天性。大型的外國雜誌或網站,如People,Life,US,都曾經post過類似的問題,向讀者詢問,如誰是你最渴望做愛的女星之類的調查,簡直是見怪不怪""

1. You don't have to be a prude to realise that sexual assault is wrong. The whole point of sexual violence is that the sexual contact is initiated by another person against your will. This has nothing to do with whether you are sexually-active or have sexually-liberal or conservative attitudes. You don't want to have any sexual contact with guy X, so when guy X forced sexual contact on you it becomes an assault on your person, and this has nothing whatsoever to do with your general attitudes to sex itself. So trying to link sexual assault with sexual conservatism is a serious mistake, it simply adds insult to the injury sustained by victims of sexual assault, because there is an implicit suggestion that the women are just being too precious and that if they are only a bit more 'open-minded' or indeed, 'have a sense of humour' then sexual assault won't happen.

2. Just because men fantasizes about women all the time, it doesn't give them the right to initiate unwanted sexual contact with women. The fact that the poll was specifically asking people to nominate the female star they most want to "sexually assault" is COMPLETELY different from asking you to nominate someone you have the most sexual fantasies about. Even in the context of progressive, liberal Western media, such a poll would be seen as completely indefensible and will NOT be condoned.

3. I also take issue with this perception that somehow HK is still very "prudish" when it comes to sex when compared with Western countries. Let's put aside this rather silly idea that HK people should follow whatever Western countries think and do. The point is that you will RARELY, IF EVER, see in the UK and Ireland the kind of sexually-explicit and soft-porn-filled content in mainstream publishing media readily available in HK. Yes you will have Page 3 girls in tabloid papers and you will have stories about the sexual adventures of celebrities, etc. But not to the extent of encouraging perverts and peeping Toms by having photographers AIMING for the female stars' underwear, that kind of obsessive pornographic slant to mainstream media I must say is quite unique to HK (Or perhaps HK is simply following Japanese media). And I feel all the more sorry for the people in HK that this is so.

Reply on "DiuMan Park":

Just want to say I'm grateful that there are still many clear-thinking people in HK who see through all the lies and excuses being made on behalf of Sammy and Siu Yee. "Jacky" you tried so hard to sound reasonable but I'm sorry to say that actually none of your so-called arguments made any sense at all. Bravo 一知, Sum and others for your level-headed analysis and brilliant retorts!

And just so you know Jacky, I'm a young person also, and not everybody who criticises Sammy and Siu Yee for their inexcusable mistake hate them as presenters. I like them as presenters, but they are clearly wrong on the question of this thoughtless and disrespectful poll, and I'm not so naive and stupid as to try to defend them at all costs just because I like their general presenting style. (We have 15/16 show here also).

Don't try to paint all those who criticise Sammy and Siu Yee as old humourless prudes. There is a huge difference between being popular and being right. When you are wrong, don't try to white-wash it by pretending it's no big deal. This should have been a very basic moral lesson learnt by anyone calling him/herself a responsible adult.

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4 Comments:

At Sat Jun 10, 05:54:00 a.m. IST, Anonymous 葉一知 said...

整個事非的背後,其實還隱藏著一個香港密碼,就是大家仍然對性的態度和保守,還停留在逹文西的時代。據醫學的報導,男性在每20分鐘便有性的幻想,對異性的好奇和渴望異性的慰藉甚至親近,事實是男人的天性。大型的外國雜誌或網站,如People,Life,US,都曾經post過類似的問題,向讀者詢問,如誰是你最渴望做愛的女星之類的調查,簡直是見怪不怪"


我已在其他blog指出, 「一夜情情人」、「最想親吻」, "最渴望做愛"等和"最想非禮"有明顯分別, 因為一夜情, 親吻和做愛這些詞語, 是要在雙方同意下進行, 但"非禮'的意涵十分明顯, 就是在人家不情願的情況下你強行抽水.

所以選一夜情情人, 親吻, 我想在香港都冇問題, 但如果選最想強姦情人, 最想強吻情人, 最想性虐待情人, 就連在外國都不容許!

 
At Sat Jun 10, 08:58:00 p.m. IST, Blogger Snowdrops said...

Hey 一知 thanks for stopping by at my blog. Yes exactly, it's amazing how some bloggers can't seem to differentiate between consensual versus forced sexual relations. The kind of conspiracy theories being spouted about this being an example of government pressure on media freedom is also absolutely absurd - as you've rightly pointed out in your blog also. It's amazing the lengths that some people would go to defend the indefensible.

All we could do is to say something, and not to have our voices being lumped in with the "Government" or the "Moralists" or the "Prudes" or the "Hypocritical Next/Apple/Eastern Mainstream Media". I'm grateful that in our own blogs we could still raise our independent voices. Thanks again for the brilliant article on your blog.

 
At Mon Jun 12, 06:05:00 p.m. IST, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gwashababy has been coming up with some incredibly thought provoking words, comments and phrases. Her strength is that she can introduce you to something you thought you knew and completely change it forever.

 
At Tue Jun 13, 12:46:00 p.m. IST, Blogger Snowdrops said...

Just notice the new message, thanks for stopping by. Did you come in from Comment is Free? Because there was no link from there to any commenters' blogs...

I haven't read much of Gwashababy when I used to frequent CiF a lot, and in terms of the Big Blogger contest I'm completely behind Altrui, but I do think that she is definitely one of the much better commenters on the CiF boards. It's a pity to hear that she seems to be having some police nuisance where she lives, hope that will be sorted soon.

 

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