Saturday, January 31, 2009

Weekend working...

This is the worst time to have a relationship.

But I have told myself that I'm not going to let the PhD be my excuse anymore to not have a life.

Even so, it is hard. My mind wants to wander to anywhere and everywhere except the thesis. Internet is a huge time suck, so is companionship, even though the latter is what I crave when I could paradoxically least afford the time for it.

Sorry my darling. Your being here does make a huge difference to my life, I'm just sorry that I cannot share in your life as much as I would have loved to under normal circumstances. Please bear with me.

* * *

I have learnt and have got to remember the following every single day:

Perseverance means that you cannot be a perfectionist. If I cannot get it right the first time, I have to keep trying. Giving up is not an option. Losing heart is not an option. Losing momentum simply means that I have got to try even harder.

My only option is to keep going.

I CANNOT BE DISTRACTED. Not by my love, not by friends and family, not by office politics, not by students' pleas, not by the Internet, not by blogging, not by blogs. I cannot be distracted by my burning desire to comment on the state of the world and/or to record the ephemera of everyday life. I have got to stay focused.

My words are my bricks and mortar with which to build a meaningful thesis. They demand my concentration and my mental energy. They need my belief and my vision and my action.

So I have got to go now.

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