Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Early morning rant to get it out of my system...

... I'm only jotting this down to clear my rambling and jumbled thoughts so bear with me...

Why do certain people always feel a need to "big" themselves up? Apparently there is no possibility of any relationship among equals between men and women in the so-called "real world", only "big man"/"little woman" or "big woman"/"little man" matches are possible according to this narrow and frankly misogynistic worldview. Very misguided reading of feminism if all it means to these people is that strong women are merely the exceptions that prove their self-serving rule (that women are and must be weak by definition).

And they said that such observations are based on their personal experiences... Hmm... never mind the validity of their convenience samples, I'm just glad that my personal experience of relationships and my knowledge of other couples are a far cry from these tired old clich├ęs...

Not to mention my own relationship, just among my immediate acquaintances, there are husbands who schedule their work days to share in childcare responsibilities with their working wives; there is a couple who takes turns to support the career needs of both individuals by each making use of extended leave/job-sharing arrangements at their workplaces; and three friends (two in academia, one in government) who are at key turning points in their careers right now are working with their partners (in finance, accounting, and IT) to map out where as a couple they would both like to be geographically and professionally so that they could pursue their mutual career goals while staying living together in these uncertain times. And last I checked, these are happily married/partnered people, who never felt the need to theorise their happiness as predicating on some form of gender inequality.

Maybe in certain areas the employment laws or the employers concerned are not as enlightened to allow the kind of flexible working arrangements mentioned above, but it would be illogical in the extreme to posit what in essence is an effect of gender inequality to be the rationale for gender inequality, and we should certainly not try to justify gender inequality simply because of the facile argument that "these are the way things are and always will be."

I'm frankly amazed that in this day and age some people still haven't gotten the memo that we're all just human beings with different strengths and weaknesses, but with the same kind of needs and desires, as well as hopes and fears, regardless of our gender. Feminists want women to be treated as equals, not as dominatrixes, however convenient the latter stereotype may serve as fantasy fodder for modern-day Neanderthals.

(but yeah, one less blogger whose blog I'd follow rather fits in with the decluttering goal of this time of the year)

(edited to amend all my embarrassing grammar mistakes :P I'm gonna blame it on the lack of tea when I first wrote this post)

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